Tomorrow is visit #2 with Dr. DAN and I am foreshadowing that I may have a complete and total meltdown in his office. Which is saying something. I have not cried once in any of my son’s doctor’s offices. I have never cried through one of his evaluations. And I did not cry at the first IEP meeting. I managed to hold it together and cry after. I actually had to lean over and tell my husband to pull it together on a few occassions. It felt it was essential that I was coherent and lucid through all his visits and evaluations so I could remember the details, information and facts I would need going forward. But as I sit here writing this I am shaking and teary. My son has started talking and I finally feel somewhat ok to start telling the world. I have on numerous occasions started to write down the words he had and the dates he first spoke them. But every time I did he would lose the few words he had. So I stopped writing them down. It was too painful to think about all the words he didn’t have and the few he did it was hard for him to recall. And I actually hid the journals and the empty photo books we got when my son was a baby. I would forget where I had put them and then come across them, open them up read the two or three dates with his five or six words that he wasn’t saying and be depressed for an entire month after. And restart the cycle after hiding them again in a new place.
P-man now has roughly 60 words! And I believe that it is thanks to the B12 shots. I didn’t want to think they were going to work. I didn’t want to have hope again and have it taken away again. The GFCF diet has helped but in small ways. My son would hand flap, bang his head on the wall and have huge tantrums. All of these have subsided and lessened in severity thanks to the diet. Don’t ask my husband though he just sees it as my son getting older and growing out of things. But the B12 is something that he is almost willing to admit works. Meaning he helps me give my son the shot every three days and doesn’t protest. But I can’t see how it wouldn’t be the B12 shot. In 1.5 months my son has gone from 5-6 words to his now 60 words and is keeping every single one of them on daily basis. This is unheard of! I am writing his new words in my journal every two days. I can’t control my giddiness. And my facebook posts about him talking I am sure people are now sick of and I don’t care. And most importantly I got my first “I wuh u” (I love you).
So yes it’s quite possible Mr.DAN will have to be the first doctor, teacher or specialists in our journey to witness me crying as I blubber thanks to him. How could I not cry in a moment of sheer happiness. Good thing it will only be me going to see him for this visit so I can lie about it later.
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